must control

I think I need to relax and let things flow a bit more. Controlling everything I am involved in is not a realistic approach to a sensible, productive existence. For a person who by nature is riddled by anxiety, I am constantly put in situations where I have to be the main focus and lead everyone through what we are doing. That is after all the nature of my job and usually it runs quite smoothly. I enjoy myself and everyone else enjoys what they are doing and we have a fantastic, motivated studio. This unfortunately is not always the case. Sometimes I make things more complicated than they need to be and let little things get under my skin. This causes a great deal of frustration and me leaving the studio wondering what the hell happened and who was that ranting idiot standing in the middle of the room causing problems. Of course the idiot is often me, letting the little things get in the way of the big picture, my controlling nature taking over.

- sigh

Hopefully today the ranting idiot will stay home and the calm person who knows what he is doing will fill in.